Joy

I have had many times in the past few weeks a chance to lose my joy and just let depression and anxiety get the best of me. To know Jesus is to know Joy. To have a relationship with Him is to have Joy. Joy is my focus. This(something negative) is happening in my life BUT I will have Joy because this(something positive) is happening in my life. I have so many reasons to just give in and let things steal my joy. I can't do that though, I have a husband, four precious children, two dogs, family, and friends that are depending on me. The enemy would have it no better than to make me feel as if I'm invisible. There's a difference between being humble and dismissing ourselves from being involved due to pride.  I have felt like so many times in the last week that I'm just not enough. Why do I bother doing what I do? I'm not important. The enemy will not win though. I've come to the conclusion that I had went back to some old eating habits which include less water and more soda. I believe my diet and the lack of exercise had a lot to do with my down feeling. I spent Tuesday in bed all day. Wednesday I was up but felt so very tired and anxious,  I was spiraling downward really fast. I truly believe if I would have given in to the enemy he would have rendered me useless and let me know it clearly. I however, CHOSE to force myself to go be with my family on Wednesday evening. I felt a little better but still had this feeling of dread and I was beginning to really hate how I felt. At the time I thought I must have been coming down with a cold or something. Thursday morning we had somewhere to be at 9:30. This whole time I've not been feeling well I had not been doing my Bible study. Big mistake there. It's so important to start with the Word even if we aren't feeling anxious and everything is just great in our lives. When things get rough, then we are equipped with how to handle it. Then I thought about my bad habits. I worked out Thursday morning and felt so so so good. I felt so much better all day. I made it a point to eat and drink as healthy as possible. Friday morning I got up feeling better. I've started my day off with the Word. There have been so many distractions. I really believe Satan would have no better than for me to prioritize things over my time with Jesus in His Word. 

To know Joy is to have a relationship with Jesus. We can't just expect things to happen. I think I may have said this before but I will say it again. To get to know someone that we have become friends with, we MUST spend time with them. We must learn about them. The same has to happen with Jesus. Attending church is being obedient to what the Lord tells us to do in His word however, that doesn't give us that relationship. We must spend more than 3 hours a week with Him. I know that it's not enough for me. Praying will help with difficult situations. It will not help with the day to day life events. We must have a relationship with Jesus, our creator and our children's creator to know how we need to handle discipline. It's different for each child. We should be prayerful about how we respond to others however if we have no relationship with our sweet Jesus we can't and won't respond with grace and in love as Jesus does. No we aren't Jesus and we are imperfect but God calls us to be LIKE Jesus, we can respond with grace and love. It may be that we respond with silence until we can respond like Him.

I have so many things I want to share but I need p get up the nerve to share. I am also seeking guidance on how to write it out so as not to offend people. It is my intention to only encourage and life up through this blog. My intentions are never make anyone feel inferior to me for not doing things like I do them. We are all different, lead different lives but I believe if you are reading this your mission is the same as mine and that is to live with absolute abandon for God. Our mission is to raise our children to be world changers. This is different for everyone. The calling is different for our lives but our mission is the same. Jesus first always!

Joy unspeakable

Joy Unspeakable....What exactly does that mean? For me it means the love I have for Jesus gives me so much joy that I can hardly even explain it in words. I don't have a vocabulary eloquent enough to describe it. The love that Jesus has for me is vastly larger than what I have for Him. Joy is something I feel when my toddler puts her sweet little arms around me and in toddler language not yet clear to others she says "I love you mommy"! Joy! I feel Joy when I teach my children. When we have been working on something for longer than usual because they just can't get it and finally they do. That lightbulb moment. It shoots Joy all over me. Joy! I feel Joy when my oldest son sits down and reads a book to my toddler. These things make me so happy. I feel Joy at the end of the week when my husband comes home from work. I am so happy and joyous to see him. He makes me happy. Our relationship gives me joy. It's something I am very proud of.

Now I can point all the things that don't give me Joy. There are many things in my life that I could choose to focus on. I could choose not to have Joy because I just can't keep up with my home the way I want. We are a one income family. We have wanted to put new flooring down for a while but financially we haven't been able to. Is it disappointing? Of course. But I choose to focus on the things and mostly the people that give me Joy. Those new floors will come in Gods time. Would I like to redecorate my house? Of course. But I choose to focus on the fact that I have a home and it provides my family what we need. Joy is a choice. Our words are a choice. We can choose to have Joy in every word we speak or we can be known as the negative one of the bunch. I don't want to be know as what I call "bubblebusters". My house is not company ready right now but I am choosing to have Joy in the fact that God has called me to be my childrens' caretaker 24/7. Through Gods help with lots of prayer I am a tool in shaping and molding my children. What a wonderful blessing that is. I choose to find joy in this. I also choose to find good in every person. This is something that is super challenging for me sometimes because I am making a choice to be critical of a person without knowing their story. I don't want to do this. I want to choose to make my conversation good and say good things about others or nothing at all. This is my heart. ❤️

Psalm 19:14

My word for 2015 and how it grew me....

In 2015 I did something I've never did. I chose a word for the year to focus on. That word was love. I just wanted to love like Jesus. 2015 was a really hard year. It was hard for my family. It was hard for me personally and it was hard for some close friends who are like family to me.  I learned that love cannot be taken for granted. I found out what it was like to lose a family member to the cruel disease of cancer. My mother's sister, my aunt passed away in January 2015. Not only was it hard for me personally to get through this and remember that God knows ALWAYS what He is doing. He sees the big picture. So many people were touched by my aunt and through the sickness she had.  I watched my Grandmother and Grandaddy bury their firstborn child. It was heart wrenching for me. I watched my uncle lose the love of his life. I watched her only son and his family lose a woman they loved dearly. My cousin, her so lost his daddy the same week. I could not imagine!  I watched her 5 sisters and 2 brothers mourn her loss. My mothers side of the family is very close. I love all of them so much. There's that word again. Love! Love like Jesus. She was an amazing woman and she will be forever missed. I learned that if not for the comfort of the Holy Spirit that none of us could move on. He was and is our comforter. I have no doubt that my Aunt Wanda was ultimately healed when she passes on from this world. Even though I don't understand why she had to go so soon, I know it was and is all for the glory of God. Things like this change us. They break us down so we can grow. I have grown so much from this loss. She is in Heaven with Jesus dancing on the streets of gold and enjoying the company of those who have gone on before us.

The next thing that hit me was the death of a local high schooler who was a star football player for the Trojans. He was also taken by this horrible disease of cancer. It was a very rare kind from what I understand.  Again so many lives were touched by Malik Sparkman. I believe lives are still being touched and changed for the good and for Gods glory. It is my understanding that he was also a strong Christian and was a witness for Christ through it all. He loved Jesus. With this information, I know that he is in Heaven as well.

In the spring of 2015, I got pretty sick. What I thought was just some sinus issues ended up resulting in some surgery and some unsettled information about myself. I thought a fish bone was stuck in my throat but as it progresses I realized it wasn't in my throat at all. I woke one night in excruciating pain crying. I had been to the walkin clinic earlier that day and they said it was thyroid and did thyroid bloodwork.  I was referred to an ENT doctor here in Douglas. I called and they could see me in 3 weeks. I was not happy with that information but living in this little town of Douglas I just settled for that and prayed that the Lord would work it out. My neck was swollen and red and was continuously swelling. I wasn't sure what was happening. My husband took me to the ER.  My three older kids were spending the night with my parents. Hubby had to get the baby out of the bed and get her out to the car seat. I don't remember much about that night other than the fact that the favor of a God absolutely surrounded me. My doctor was a 1994 graduate from Hazlehurst. I am from there. They did blood work, pain meds, lots of antiinflammatories and a CT scan with contrast. In doing the CT scan, they found a thyroglossal duct cyst. Before I go any further I MUST tell you this is NOT a thyroid condition. It actually didn't involve the thyroid at all. I don't really have time nor do I really want to go into what this is. Google it if you want to know. I assure you it didn't involve the thyroid. I had a lot of people who tried to tell me it could be thyroid cancer and to not let just any doctor do surgery, etc, etc. I know they meant well but they were used to put fear in me. I was able to keep that fear down by lots and lots of prayer but I'm just saying we should be careful with our words. We can speak life or we can speak death over somebody and ourselves for that matter. The doctor just happened to know a good ENT from Dublin that was a colleague of his. I think he said they were in college together. He promised me he would call him personally and get me in ASAP. I was told that surgery would be needed. Fast forward a few weeks. ER doctor called my husband later that morning while may I mention he was off work and did this out of the goodness of his heart told my husband he got an appointment for that Friday. I had went to the ER on Wednesday night. Like I said nothing but the favor of God!  I was told there was a slight risk of cancer. My doctor slid over this info like it was nothing. I Had to take lots of antibiotics and antiinflammatories to get the swelling down so surgery could be done. Surgery was scheduled for a Monday. On the Saturday night before, I started to feel bad and started to feel like it was swelling again. By Sunday afternoon when we went to take the kids to my parents I had to call my ENT and ask if he would still be able to do the surgery if the infection was coming back. It was Father's Day and I had him paged. He called me back in less than 5 minutes. He was a great doctor!!  Surgery went just fine. It was my first time being put to sleep and my very first surgery. I can say that I had the most peace about everything. I was nervous but it was because I really didn't know what to expect. I stayed a night in the hospital. Now I have a nice little scar right smack dab in the middle of my neck. That scar is a reminder to me though. It's a reminder to never ever take my health, my husband, my children, family, or friends for granted. It helped me to love more. It helped me to cling to the small things and appreciate them. It made me fall in love with my husband all over again. He was a good nurse. So patient and kind and a GOOD prayer warrior. He doesn't pray out loud but his prayers are so powerful I can feel them. I am so thankful for my husband. My parents kept our girls and my husbands parents kept our boys while I had surgery and for the remainder of the week while I recovered. I am thankful for this experience. I am thankful that the Lord was there comforting me and everyone who is close to me through this.

It took me a while to get back on my feet good. I was feeling more human around the first of July. In the middle of July, something happened that absolutely rocked me and the community that I grew up in to our very core. A friend of mine and her husband lost their baby boy. He drowned. I'm not going to say much about this because I know that his mommy will probably read this. I will say that I saw the people of the community that I grew up in come together and love on this family. I don't understand it but what I know is that the good Lord works everything out for the good of those who love Him. I do know his family loves the Lord with all their hearts and that although the days are hard, it's going to get better with time. We just need to cling to the Lord and I know they are. And to this family who is like my family I love you guys so much. Every single one of you!

And so back at the beginning of 2015 when I chose this word LOVE I never would have thought hat the Lord would teach me this way to love like Jesus but it was my prayer that God would open my eyes  to see those who needed love the most. I realized without Jesus, there is no love. God is love. Love never fails. Read 1 Corinthians 13. This is what love is.

Where has time gone?

Hannah turned 11 months July 24th. Wow! I can't believe I'm planning her birthday party. So I don't know how much she weighs or how tall she is. I think that's a good thing because the only way I would know is if I had to take her to the doctor for sickness.

No checkup at 11 months. We will definitely know those statistics at 1 year for sure. 

Hannah loves to play peekaboo, patacake, and she also likes for us to blow raspberries on her feet. She puts them back up in our faces to do it again. She is also taking steps but she isn't quite walking yet. As her mommy, I have to say I am okay with that. She loves fruit puffs, grapes, apples, and pretty much any food I put in front of her.

Here is an 11 month picture.

I will be back next month to share her exciting first birthday with you all. 

In the meantime, live, laugh, and love. We are not promised tomorrow so let the ones you care about know you love them. Life is precious!

Hannah is 7 months old

Hannah is 7 months old now!  Sarah and I had a sweet picture session with her yesterday.  She is now saying mama, dada, and bubba.  It may not be that she realizes what she is saying for all of them but she is definitley making the sounds and we have been saying these words to her since very early on.  She is sitting up well and crawling.  Crawling is something she isn't very interested in but she will crawl a small distance to retrieve a toy.  She is still the happiest baby ever.  Even when she is hungry or needs a diaper changed she is still happy.

Here are a few sweet pictures.

New Season

With spring comes a new curriculum for our family.  I posted about it back a few weeks ago.  Today was our first day.  We read about different countries and how Jesus has been shared with these people by missionaries and how prayer has been a huge part of these countries being reached. Our memory verse is John 3:16 and all three of my kids know this verse by heart.  Caleb who is currently in 1st grade is learning to print it.  Noah and Sarah is practicing it in cursive.

We read about the history of maps.  We found out that maps date back to early times and some of the first maps were drawn in the sand, made on clay tablets, and on silk.  The earlier maps were also very inaccurate.  The kids also found out that we will be "traveling" to a lot of countries throughout our Exploring Countries and Cultures.  They applied for a passport in which they will need in order to cross the border into foreign countries.  They filled out the application, wrote a check for $80 to me, put the application and check into an envelope and addressed it to me.  They will receive their passports in a few weeks as we advance through the material.  The first countries are USA and Canada.  For Caleb he learned how to write his address and how to address an envelope.  He's been told how to do this however, he hasn't actually done this before. Here are some pictures of the kids filling out the application for their passports.

We learned in Science what an ecosystem is as well as biome and the origin of this word as well as ecology.  I'm learning new things.  I love science so this is my favorite part of our day.  We are actually doing Apologia Science as well but haven't started that yet.  I didn't have time last week to prepare for the lessons this week.

For music we listened to a song that said Hello in several different languages.  The kids really enjoyed this and we listened to it 5 times so they now know how to say Hello in several different languages.

It's been a good day here at Gooden Homeschool.  I'm really looking forward to the year to come.

And so it begins....

The  homeschool burnout began mid February.  Even though we pretty much had December off, it began.  I got tired of having to do 3 separate times of school with the kids. I felt like I was just doing it because I had to.  I wasn't enjoying it anymore.  I wanted to spend time with all my children every day.  I started praying and seeking God about what curriculum we would use next year.  I asked my friend about a particular one she uses.  I did some research on math curriculums.  We did some changeups.  I still need to do some research on Language Arts curriculum for my 6th and 4th grader but I have that under control and I'm actively searching.  The Lord started working in my heart about the company that I went with for Sarah's Kindergarten and Noah's second grade year.  I really enjoyed the material and the kids did as well.  My friend whom I was asking questions really was very helpful.  I joined the Facebook group of the curriculum I was looking into.  I also joined a group that allows listing used My Father's World material.  I found a set listed for a good price so I went ahead and bought that.  I had perfect peace about it at that point.  We will be doing My Father's World Exploring Countries and Cultures starting April 6th.  We will combine History/Geograpy, Science, and Bible with all three kids.  We will continue with the Language Arts and Math curriculum for the current grade level of the kids.

Today we received a few odds and ends in the mail.  Here are the kids learning a bit of cartography today.  They were really excited to get a globe and world map in the mail today.  They also got glue, modeling clay, colored pencils, and a few other things that are for the ECC curriculum.  

We can't wait to start!!  We are all excited!